


Silence is Golden

by Zugzwang (thunderdone)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Setting, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4835117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderdone/pseuds/Zugzwang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi would like to avoid people finding out that he is terrified of dying at all costs. He runs into Erwin as he is heading to one of his hiding places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence is Golden

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I'll add a second chapter or not. I would like to. This was written in an hour challenge sort of relaxed setting with two friends, who each wrote their own. I am also publishing this at almost two in the morning, so I apologize for any vulgar errors.

It wasn't like it was anything abnormal. Just a few times a week, almost daily. That was normal. Right? Daily strikes of panic and heart stopping mortification at the inevitably at what was to come undoubtedly to him once or twice a day, triggered by everyday things? Everyone had those, right?

Erwin and the Corps didn't need to know about the crippling anxiety that wracked his body for hours on end, varying from mild ticks in the back of his mind like clockwork to leaving him crouched in the corner of the officer's supply closet, where nobody would take notice of him if he held a clipboard and looked at the shelves while drawing idly. If it happened on an expedition, he could easily just ride away from the rest of the group for a little and return when needed, as long as it didn't exceed a half hour, since he would then be marked as missing. Any more than three hours, he would be recorded as dead and be left behind, which would be even worse than the panic moments.

At the least, he had control over his emotions. When he needed to, and when he didn't need to, he could put on a killer deadpan. Literally. More beings had died while he wore it than any other. All of them? Maybe. He lost count. Everyone looses count sometimes, though, so it wasn't that much of a surprise.

The day he was caught was the fifteenth day of the move into the old abandoned castle. Before anything major began to take place, the low throbbing had been in his mind the entire day. Only a few flashes of his dead friends, teammates, and assorted others had flashed through his mind, around six through the course of an hour, so it wasn't all that disorderly. The rest of the troop brats, Shit Glasses, and Erwin were off in various other parts, cleaning stables or their own rooms, or some place of the sort that didn't, all in all, matter to him at that moment. Levi was taking his sweet time in washing the kitchen: from the table, to the linoleum, the cabinets, and the slightly dusty, cracked plates that were left in the cabinets by the previous occupants of the castle. All was going in a favorable manner until there a violent outburst from outside which he previously been unaware of slammed right into the thick glass beside him.

"Listen here, horseshit, you don't need to have your fucking snooty-ass tone around me. I'm not a suicidal maniac, I just have courage, unlike a particular ponypuss who I'd happily see fed to the titans . You're a worthless piece of shit, Jean. Who fucking cares if Marco's dead now or dead later, we're all going to end up dead sooner or later if we don't do jack shit about what's going on outside the walls. You, me, Erwin, Mikasa, Armin, even Levi. All of us will be dead as dirt."

The plate in Levi's hand hit the ground with a resounding shatter as he pulled the hankerchief off of his face and walked quickly out of the kitchen into the hallway. The voices outside softened as he strode off in search of a place to hide, boots clicking against the hardwood floors. He took the stairs two by two with the intention to find his room and lock himself inside for an amount of time. The grime covering his otherwise pristine gloves was not doing his mood any better, as he wrestled them off his hands at the top of the set of stairs.

As Levi stepped further down the hallway, eyes turned down to his hand, he ran headfirst into a chest. A large one. A familiar one. One that he had not a shred of excitement or relief to see. Looking up to Erwin, for once focusing on keeping a deadpan, he shoves his gloves into one pocket before opening his mouth. To his expectations, he was interrupted.

"Levi, I wasn't expecting you to be here. Finished up with the kitchen that quickly?"

"You better fuck off right now, Erwin, or else you'll get repercussions of a few years ago. Get out of my way, right now, and don't give me that look like I just tried to castrate you, I'm not one of your little brats." He pushes past Erwin, and starts to head up to his room once more. Levi's arm is caught, the hand of Erwin making even more of a mark on his present mental state than usual, the pads of each finger pressed into his bicep.

"Lance Corporal Levi, I would like to remind you that, as each of us has multiple points we would not like the Military Police and king to know, you would fare well if you maintained your knowledge of your rank towards the front of your mind," Erwin mutters lowly with his head tilted up, looking down his nose at Levi. "Are the trainees getting out of hand?"

The latter nods, staring down the hallway even as his mind barrages him with images of his dead companions. "The Jeager kid and Horseface are fighting again. I think one is upset at his boyfriend's untimely demise. If you need to, kill the whiny one, he's been useless to me so far. Just lock the titan shit up in that well Hanji dug, one way or another. He broke the dish in the kitchen. If he doesn't clean it up, make sure you accidentally break his ODM gear."

Levi succeeds in tearing his arm away from Erwin as he stalks to his room without another word to let the utter terror wash over him for the next hour, as Erwin breaks the two boys apart. With a few shoves in the right direction, he convinces Eren to see Hanji for a bit, while Jean goes off to clean the stables as he was before. For the rest of the day, Erwin resists the temptation to check on Levi.


End file.
